HOMESICK

This morning, Emberly was completely out of sorts. At first she painted and sketched, perhaps even more frantically than last night, yet clenched her 'dudu' close to her face, throughout. 

Never underestimate the value of home, of being in, and surrounded, with the familiar. This is especially prevalent in introverts and those on the Autism Spectrum.

Take my two nieces for instance - same parents - but one is chalk, the other cheese. 

This was taken at the same event. 

Note the little one, an absolute extrovert, clearly loving the experience; the colours, the noise, the excitement of it all.

She has great resilience and is always open to new experiences and ideas.

Then you see her much older sister, a true introvert, clearly in distress. 

No doubt, it will take her weeks to recover from this single incident.

Emberly arrived yesterday afternoon in a new outfit, then changed into new PJ's before spending the night in a strange bed, so this morning, she was clearly overwhelmed. 

I'm not autistic, nor entirely an introvert, but my need for an 'On Repeat' playlist, past experience with LSD and love of familiar things and surroundings to feel at ease, gives me some, how be it still a very limited,  understanding.

At first she listened to some soothing Gospel tunes by Zach Williams, 'No Longer Slaves' and Hillsong United, 'I Surrender', and then she resorted to endless, mindless media consumption, while laying despondently with her head on the table.

Quite visibly without enthusiasm, I couldn't tempt her with food, nor any sort of play. At first, I tried to actively engage her, but noticed that ultimately, she preferred being alone.

I left her alone at first, but felt terrible doing so.

Inspired by Maria "Vildhjärta" Westerberg's take on Facebook, I resorted to covering my 2025 diary in her general vicinity instead; I however, could not glue indoors and she was not going outdoors either.

So I ended up sewing on the selvage as trim with red Kantha inspired stitches, and accented a few flowers in cheery yellow embroidery, just to buy some time.

Her highlight? Her parents' arrival!

Once they arrived, she turned instantly chirpy and jumped up and down in excitement. 

She even gushed to her mother about the fun we had together, searching for the little yellow duck, in particular; could hardly recognise that it was the same girl from fifteen minutes before.

So what was her condition? Pure and simple homesickness.

After they left I eventually glued the winter grey fabric to the outside of my Diary, and lined the insides with some more shades of grey.

Yet even long after, I still found myself feeling quite blue, and acting just like she had done before. 

It struck me, that her homesickness was akin to my own chronic homesickness, only she knew when its end would come.

WORDS: rhodenel©31DEC2024 

PHOTOGRAPHY: rhoderuth©DEC2024